she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize