Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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