She's JV to your varsity
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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