how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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