it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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