Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
