I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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