I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Come on in and take your pants off
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