please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
