Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
