another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
