I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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