Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
