Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
