Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
