I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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