Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
