She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
...so i touched it.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
