I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Randomize
