He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize