Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
