sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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