You smell like stripper and shame
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
