i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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