We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
