She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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