Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize