I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I think i got beer on your cat.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
