There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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