i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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