so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
