Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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