How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
