There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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