Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
