she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
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