i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
