thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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