your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
