I like to think it a success when the cops are called
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
