About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I smell like Dick and happiness
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize