I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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