Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
