Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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