I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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