i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
