For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
