I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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