Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
