The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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