I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
