5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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