We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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