Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
