I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
