you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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