Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
