It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
