just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
