I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
