Don't you send me to vm
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
