conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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