if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize