I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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