Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
