my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
