The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
