Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
