I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
