physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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