He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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