just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
