I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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