my phone needs a breathalizer
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I need water and some morals
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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