Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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