people are starting to question the shark bite story
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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