Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize