My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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