that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize