you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
