i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Who did Billy Mays play for?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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