Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
