Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
