I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
