is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
