yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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