just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
