I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Dicks are not precious.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize