that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
