After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
